


Haunted

by BatchSan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene, Post-Trost Arc, Pre-Femslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-03
Updated: 2014-09-03
Packaged: 2018-02-15 23:53:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2248071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatchSan/pseuds/BatchSan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Attack on Trost, Mikasa's hands tremble.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Haunted

They burn the dead, some are just unidentified parts left behind by a sloppy eater.

Mikasa exhales into the night, remembers that she survived; remembers that Eren almost didn't. Her hands haven't stopped trembling since he was dragged off by the Military Police.

She goes to bed that night but can only lie there, staring at the ceiling; through it, up at the stars and the nothing beyond them. There's a lot of muffled crying in the dorm, playing a goodbye send-off to the dead and mournful prayer for the injured. Mikasa wants to run away from it but where would she go? And what would happen to Eren if she did? Rolling over she tries not to think about it.

From her new position she can see Sasha curled up on her bunk, knees drawn tight to her body. She's silent and Mikasa thinks it's deafening in this din of tears.

*

Her body rages to remain calm as Eren is beaten. Armin's arm across her stomach, barring her from sticking a blade through the Captain's jugular, is her only true ground to rational thinking. Mikasa focuses on it with all her might - she'll kill if she doesn't.

*

It's night again, silent.

Mikasa can't sleep; her hands haven't stopped shaking - slight trembles no one would notice but she felt constantly. She knows she should be relieved that Eren is not going to be killed but all she keeps seeing is his bloodied face and the way he was slumped on the court floor. The image is etched into the back of her retinas so clearly she can see the blood trails from his bloodied nose before they make their path down to his chin and mouth.

She rolls to her side. To her surprise, Sasha's sitting in much the same fashion she had been the night they burned the dead. Wasn't that yesterday? Or the day before? Mikasa's memory is playing tricks on her and she's too weary and frightened deep down to care.

Sasha turns her face, opting to stare at the wall. Her brown hair is long and loose; her knees bony against her chest. Hands still trembling, Mikasa slips out of her bunk and moves across the room to Sasha's bunk. Her hands hesitate in mid-air before they touch the brown curtain of Sasha's hair. Everyone needs time alone, personal space. But they also need someone to ground them in some way, or so Mikasa thinks--or rather, feels.

A long time ago, Eren had grounded her to reality, kept her safe and made her strong when she didn't know how to be.

Sasha makes a startled noise at her touch. Her eyes are wide and surprised - tear-free though, a relief in some way - but she doesn't signify that Mikasa's presence is unwanted, despite her clear confusion. She scoots over and stretches her legs out, joints popping in relief. Mikasa sits beside her, uncertain of her own actions. Their hips and calves touch just so as they sit there quietly for a long moment. The silence is companionable, permeated only by the occasion whimper or snore from a nearby bunk.

"Do you want to talk?" Sasha finally asks.

When Mikasa looks over at her, there's a tiny downturn to the corners of her lips that makes Mikasa sad for some reason.

"No."

"Me neither," Sasha confesses.

She lies down and Mikasa only stares down at her, expectant of a 'goodnight' or a shove off the bunk. Instead, Sasha tugs at her wrist lightly--for a second, Mikasa worries Sasha can feel the tremble in her hands. If she does, she doesn't mention it.

"Lay with me for a bit, please?" Sasha asks.

Her voice is light, her accent surprisingly heavy all of a sudden - Mikasa thinks she's tired. She lies beside Sasha, feels her warmth closer and hotter now as the other girl wiggles closer to her. Mikasa feels fingers brush against her hand but Sasha seems to realize her actions, mistaken or not, and clenches her hands together instead beneath her cheek.

They lay like this for a long time.

"I almost died that night."

Mikasa starts at the other girl's voice. She hadn't meant to nod off but it was clear Sasha had a soothing effect on her. Or she was really, really tired.

"A lot of people did," Mikasa says, her voice husky from sleep.

Sasha is quiet at this. She presses her face against Mikasa's shoulder and releases a shaky breath. She's trembling, Mikasa realizes. A full body tremble that seems painful and wrong because this is Sasha, not Armin or Eren or...Mikasa.

Wrapping her arms around Sasha, Mikasa presses her face against brown strands and inhales the faintly flowery shampoo that they Sasha uses, saying it reminded her of home. One hand strokes the back of the trembling girl's head, tangles up in her hair and holds on. Grounding herself so they can both have someone to ground them; someone to make them strong when they can't remember how.

Her hands aren't trembling any longer, neither is Sasha.

Sasha falls asleep, a hand on Mikasa's stomach. Mikasa considers going back to her own bunk but she doesn't move, her hand still tangled in brown hair.

Eren is alive. Sasha is alive.

Mikasa falls asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I was still having post-Trost arc feels when I wrote this. Plus, a little more Mikasasha in the world hurts absolutely no one. =)
> 
> (Or, this author is strangely, and strongly, in love with this pairing and she needed some H/C for them.)


End file.
